Emerald Catron has written for Asylum, Lemondrop, MyDaily and Daily Fill. She is one half of rap duo Dem Shortybooz and is a comedic performer around NYC. Follow her on Twitter @emeraldcatron
Emerald Catron
Russell Crowe Thinks He Spotted a UFO
If you're not one of Russell Crowe's 825,000 followers on Twitter, maybe you should be. That way you can see a real-time play-by-play of how this whole UFO spotted outside of his office thing plays out.
Internet Baby Naming Contest Thankfully a Hoax
Last week we reported that a horrible mom was letting the internet vote to decide the name of her child for a measly $5,000. We can now thankfully say that the whole thing was a big, stinking hoax, perpetrated by none other than the company holding the contest.
Groupon CEO Leaks Own Resignation Letter, References ‘Battletoads’
Andrew Mason, now-former-CEO of Groupon, resigned today. Well, actually, he was more fired, really. And he told everybody. How do we know? Because he also publicly released his own letter of not-resignation, because it was going to leak anyway. Here's what it said.
Man Asks Wife to Slap Him Every Morning, Films Results
This man asked his wife to slap him awake every day for 15 days. (We don't know why.) She filmed it every day. This sounds like it could get old. It doesn't get old. It gets amazing. Just watch.
Mystery Creature Washes Ashore in Wales
Peter Bailey, 27, was taking his dog for her evening walk along the beach in Tenby, Wales, when he came across this unusual sight. He snapped some pictures of it, because he had no idea what it is, and now it has earned the name The Beast of Tenby.
Alison Brie Makes White Stripes Song Adorabe With the Help of Draco Malfoy
You know the good thing about Alison Brie? You can never have too much of her. Here she is onstage in Santa Monica with her band, The Girls, performing a song by the White Stripes.
Woman Letting Internet Name Her Baby for $5,000
Suddenly we feel very lucky to have been born in the '80s. Back then, our biggest naming danger was being called Brandi or Lacey. One mom-to-be is letting the internet name her child, so who knows what it will be called.
Watch ‘Lena Dunham’s’ Audition for ‘Zero Dark Thirty’
We aren't going to get into the whole 'Girls' debate. Like, any part of it. We are just going to say that comedian Chelsea Davison does a spot-on impression of Lena Dunham's character on that show. It's basically perfect. Enjoy!
Genius Physicist Invents Machine to Separate Cream From Oreos
Here you were proud of that macrame potted plant caddy you tied together. This video might have you rethinking your hobbies.
The Best (and Most Hilarious) Screaming Goat Remixes on the Web
Now that we think of it, why wouldn't you add footage of screaming goats to as many songs as you possibly could? Needless to say, this new internet trend makes much more sense to us than Harlem Shake videos or teenagers throwing gallons of milk into the air...
A Modest Proposal: Goats Should Replace the ‘Wilhelm Scream’
YouTuber FollowtheFoot has an interesting idea for all of us. Take the classic "Wilhelm Scream" sound effect, and replace it with a screaming goat. Even if you think that's a totally dumb idea, you still get to hear some screaming goats if you watch this video, which is ALWAYS HILARIOUS.
Jack Nicholson Is Confused at the Oscars
Jack Nicholson seemed even more confused than usual when he got caught off-guard on-camera at the Oscars on Sunday night. Plenty of 'Weekend at Bernie's' jokes abounded on the web. A GIF was spawned. But perhaps nothing captured the senior moment better than this picture made by twitter user Samir Mezrahi. Observe brilliance in its pure form: