Chris Illuminati

NBC gets its multicolored peacock feathers kicked in the ratings week after week. Even its morning juggernaut ‘The Today Show’ has lost some shine off Matt Lauer’s forever-balding dome. (Seriously, the dude has been losing hair since the late 90’s. It’s time to go Kevorkian on those last few follicles.) The once mighty broadcasting bird is banking big money on the summer games.

Before we begin, some rules and guidelines about the traits the mother in this joke shall not possess, only because of the overabundance of typical mom putdowns using these tired points of vilification toward the female parental unit.

Adam “MCA” Yauch, a member of the influential and legendary New York rap group the Beastie Boys passed away today at the age of 47. MCA leaves behind not only a nation of hardcore fans, but a legacy of music that will love on for generations.

Marc Maron is guilty of many things. He’ll admit as much, and often does, on his popular WTF Podcast.

Instagram. It’s a godsend for people that take awful pictures. It can make anything beautiful.

Television is always best enjoyed in a group. Sadly, most of us are losers who watch TV alone BUT social media allows us losers to watch our favorite shows with a large group of other losers (kinda) via Twitter hashtags.

Are you lazy? Do you not want to deal with the fuss of breaking up with your significant other? Do you want to drop a blatant hint without having a three-hour conversation about the relationship? Here is a list of six movies to aid you in the process of breaking up with a girl.

What’s cuter than a baby? How about a robot baby? This video of the not-at-all-terrifying iCub crawling robot baby is both adorable and a reminder of humanity’s increasing obsolescence. Soon you will be our ruler, robot baby.

We like a good, honest advertising campaign. Dr. Pepper is giving us just what we want in their new Dr. Pepper TEN campaign. Honesty.

Normally a lawsuit involving a fast food chain and a patron has something to do with the food. In the case of Martin Kessman versus White Castle the main complaint by Mr. Kessman is that the restaurant’s booths aren’t big enough. Online Dish explains how his local White Castle repeatedly broke promises to make the booths at his local franchise bigger.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Maverick, Goose and the rest of the ‘fly boys’ will land back in movie theaters in 2012 when ‘Top Gun’ is re-released in 3D.

A man dressed as Gumby made such a horrible attempt at robbing a 7-11 store that the clerk thought it was all a joke. The assailant told the clerk he was being robbed then fumbled inside his costume as if he was going to pull out a gun. He ended up dropping 27 cents on the floor and being told by the man behind the counter “not to waste his time.”