Ernio Hernandez

Few of us would mind if a woman — accidentally locked out onto her front porch naked — decided to take the opportunity to “get some sun” and happened to fall asleep in a “compromising” position.  That is, until we learn that the narcoleptic tanning nude is a 56-year-old woman.

So, a guy walks into an Asian salon… Stop us if you’ve heard this one.

Douchebags of yesteryear had it easy — If he hit on some random hot model on a plane in a semi-drunken stupor, she may think him a douche and turn him down but once the big hunk of metal lands, he’s in the clear.

Remember the countless hours you spent on Hot or Not — that completely superficial yet instantly addictive “am I good looking?” rating website?  Now you can click until your hand gets numb all over again as Hotstagram hits the web.

One of the worst things about having your email address linked on the internet is the random, crazy emails that pop up in our inbox.

Sure, we’ve all heard that “sex sells” but can it sell real estate?

A 20-year-old man in Pennsylvania was arrested on burglary charges after he allegedly broke into a barn after in the early hours of the morning. What was he doing there? Having sex with a horse, of course.

Chock this up to our simple minds: Guys apparently believe chicks wear red because they are looking to score.

If you like to keep up to date with the latest research in peeing, well, urine luck. We’ve got news. According to an award-winning study, having to really pee can be a worse impairment than drinking while driving.

Apparently Britney & Kevin: Chaotic (hilariously listed on IMDb as a TV mini-series – move over, ‘Roots!’) was not the only entertainment by-product of the Britney Spears and Kevin Federline union: his aunt has now written an erotic novel based on their brief marriage.

Here is some bad moos, um, news. A missing herd of cows were discovered frozen solid near Conundrum Creek in an old ranger cabin near Aspen, Colorado.

Remember in the movie ‘Black Swan’ when Natalie Portman makes out with Mila Kunis? This story has nothing to do with that. We just wanted to think about that scene again. It’s also the only way to brighten up this awful story about a swan caretaker that was attacked by… yep, swans — and drowned.