Thermopolis Police Will Arrest Your Ex For Valentine’s Day (If They Have A Warrant)
Ah, Valentine's Day. A day of love. A day of light. A day of candy and flowers and maybe that special little outfit that she (or he) only busts out once a year.
Valentine's Day is, for many, a day to reflect upon their relationship, or to build a new one. For others, however, Valentine's Day is something a little simpler, a little less reflective, more vindictive.
For some people, Valentine's Day is a reminder that they're better off single because have you SEEN their ex? Like, oh my God.
For those people, there is the Thermopolis Police Department who, for one night only (not really, this offer has no expiration date) are offering a special Valentine's Day Special Deal:
They will arrest your ex and, if you can coordinate it correctly, they'll do it right in front of you (that is, if they actually have an active warrant...Thermopolis Police aren't in the habit of false arrests)!
That's according to a Facebook post from the Thermopolis PD, who shared this special deal for any interested parties.
"The Thermopolis Police Department is offering a Valentine’s Day weekend special!" Thermopolis PD wrote. "Do you have an Ex-Valentine and know they have outstanding warrants? Do you have information that they are driving and have drugs in their car? Give us a call with their location and we’ll take care of the rest!"
Then, TPD offered the details of their romantic getaway, which even includes handcuffs! But, like, not in the fun way.
"This Valentine’s Day weekend special starts off with a set of limited edition platinum bracelets, free transportation with chauffeur, a one night minimum stay in luxurious 5-star accommodations and professional glamour shots that will be posted online for everyone to enjoy," TPD wrote. "This special is capped off with a special Valentine’s dinner. We know this special is so incredible that you maybe tempted to provide additional referrals. We don’t blame you, this special is too sweet to pass up."
They finished by writing that "Operators are standing by!"
What a deal, right??
Anybody who's ever been in a bad relationship understands that forgiveness is divine but revenge is a dish that is best served in a 9'x13' jail cell with a piece of stale bread.
Valentine's day is a day for love, and peace, and kindness. But it's also a day for vindictiveness, vindication, and some other 'V' word that we don't even know yet!
This special from the Thermopolis PD will even include an outfit itself, though it's less sexy, more jumpsuit and used underwear and crocs-y. Still, though.
So! If you have an ex boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife (or, heck, even an ex best friend who actually stole your girlfriend from you even though both of them kept swearing that they were "just friends" but then you caught them three separate times doing things that "just friends" just don't do...wait, what? Where were we?) and they have an active warrant but have yet to be caught, contact the Thermopolis PD (also, they have to, like, have committed said crimes in Hot Springs County because, ya know, extradition laws and such).
They are ready, willing, and able to give your ex a Valentine's Day that they will never, ever, forget.