Open letter

To the lady I nearly sneezed on, please accept my most sincere and humblest apology.

In an attempt to be a good, but funny parent, I wrote these words of wisdom for my young adult children.

While I understand that no one is perfect and we've all made mistakes, especially when it comes to driving, you sir (or ma'am), need to back off a smidgen.

Let me set the scene for you here. I got done with my workout this morning and the parking lot outside of Planet Fitness is not lit up at all during the early morning hours. Not generally a big deal for me, but this morning my eyes were not working very well and I had a hard time finding my car.

To whom it may concern, I humbly apologize for a recent string of wardrobe malfunctions.

Right off the bat, I have to inform you that I am not an angry driver in the slightest. I brush it off when people cut me off and go racing around me. I've always been that way when I get behind the wheel.

The internet has been going crazy since someone created an event to storm area 51 on September 20th of this year. I just have to start by saying that I think this is an absolutely horrible idea and we collectively should not follow through with it.