While the nation struggles with the choice of Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton for President 13% of Americans prefer a meteor to strike the earth. Since the meteor has yet to register, I see an alternative has appeared in the race. Rocker Alice Cooper has tossed his hat into the ring for President of The United States.

ALICE'S MANIFESTO

  1. Getting Brian Johnson back in AC/DC
    2. A snake in every pot
    3. No more pencils, no more books
    4. Adding Lemmy to Mt Rushmore
    5. Rename Big Ben "Big Lemmy"
    6. Groucho Marx on the $50 bill
    7. Peter Sellers on the £20 note
    8. Cupholders required for every airplane seat
    9. Ban on talking during movies in movie theatres
    10. Ban on taking selfies, except on a designated National Selfie Day

 

While Wyoming has a reputation of voting Republican, Alice is unaffiliated. Would The Cowboy State elect him on his platform?

An unofficial poll in the locker room where I work out showed overwhelming preference to Brian Johnson over Axl Rose.

A snake in every pot? We have plenty and the rattlesnake chili I tried once was mighty tasty, so yes on point two.

No more pencils, no more books? We are slow in the tech sector, but trending to tablets and laptops. So okay there.

Adding Lemmy to Mount Rushmore would bring more tourists to our neighboring South Dakota, and many of the tourist dollars could end up in Wyoming.

Renaming Big Ben to “Big Lemmy” is just cool, so okay on manifesto item five.

 

You’re on your own for the rest, I would never tell anyone how to vote, though I also like Joe Walsh as Alice's running mate…. "I wanna be Vice President, vote for me!"