I get nervous when I have to order drinks at a coffee shop. I'm talking like serious anxiety. I grew up in the 90's, in one of the most dangerous, gang-ridden areas of the country (Flint, Michigan). I'm also a United States Marine Corps veteran... and yet and still, I get nervous when I have to order coffee.

Maybe it's because I'm not a big coffee drinker. Although I can (or at least I think I can), pronounce all the items on the menu, I really have no clue what even half that stuff means. I seriously don't know what the difference is between a latte and a cappuccino. Start throwing in words like Frappuccino and frappe, and I really get lost.

*It's worth noting that I had to look up the links to make sure I was spelling all of these correctly, and after looking them all up, I'm still just as confused.* 

I do know just enough Latin to know latte has something to do with milk, but that's about the extent of my coffee knowledge, except maybe that venti means 20 (thank you, Paul Rudd).

"So why do you even have to go if you don't drink coffee?" That's an excellent question. Unfortunately, I have teenagers, and it's a very good bargaining chip to get them to do chores and things. Also, I have a lot of female co-workers that can't live without the stuff, and sometimes, it just ends up being my turn to get the coffee on breakfast runs.

I will say, if I get asked to many questions, I will force the baristas to read my phone (see also: the Nate Bargatze clip below). I already feel out of place inside the coffee shops as is. Asking me too many questions just shoots my anxiety up another ten levels.

I'm not for sue if this is strictly a man thing or if other people also suffer from this ailment. Please tell me I'm not alone.

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