Please Abduct Me (Wyoming Man Begs)

William lives in Clearmount Wyoming. Population 150. You can look up Clearmount on a map, if you are bored. But doing so would only make you more bored.

We asked William why he was begging to be abducted.

"I hear tell, on the Google machine, about the new science theory that there are at least 36 intelligent civilizations in our galaxy alone. They don't know this for sure, but the odds are in favor of that number, they say."

"Well hell, just turn on the news today or follow social media and find one intelligent civilization here on Earth. You can't."

"I just want to get away from people. That's all."

"That's not to say that we don't have our own problems, but at least Wyomingites get to enjoy peaceful weekends while the rest of the nation seems to be involved in some sort of family feud."

We asked William how he planned to get aliens to abduct him, since it does not seem like the odds are in his favor.

"Not in my favor? Shoot, I live in a crappy trailer out in the middle of nowhere in Wyoming. I have the best odds of anyone you'll ever meet. But, maybe just to boost those odds, I'll go visit Devils Tower a few nights year."

And what if the aliens do horrible experiments on you?

"Have you met my neighbors? I'll take my chances."