Before we begin, some rules and guidelines about the traits the mother in this joke shall not possess, only because of the overabundance of typical mom putdowns using these tired points of vilification toward the female parental unit.

The woman in this instance, the butt of THIS — the most carefully constructed mom joke of all time — will not be…

  • obese
  • illogical
  • misinformed
  • promiscuous
  • unpleasant to the eye
  • abnormally tall nor oddly short
  • unkempt
  • on the receiving end of a medical procedure to end the life of an unborn fetus
  • similar in any way to the common animal
  • super into anal

In an attempt to not offend any one person in particular, especially when recounting the joke to friends, family and therapist, the pronoun “your” (often shorted to yo) will be omitted for the much more innocuous “this mother I’m familiar with..”

The adverb “so,” as it relates to “your mama” jokes, seems woefully unnecessary since the mother is the pinnacle or apex of the noted handicap. Using the typical mama jokes as a point of reference in this instance, it’s already assumed the mother is the fattest/laziest/sluttiest since we’re cracking on her, so the word “so” is just taking up space. She can’t be SO fat, lazy or slutty because, as the punchline proves, she is the end-all of fat, lazy or slutty. There really is no level above. Let’s all agree to omit the unnecessary “so.”

So we begin…

“This mother I’m familiar with is….”

Now what is she, baring in mind all of the bulleted points from above? One could argue that the best thing about mama jokes is that most mothers are still very unfamiliar with their existence, and even if they were in the know, rarely dignify them with a response or even really take offense since they know them to be largely erroneous. The only people who still take offense to these wisecracks are the offspring of the intended target, but since we’ve eliminated “your” from the equation, a good chuckle can be had by all. Each person’s mother is safe from the pending verbal assault.

Taking all this into consideration, we’ve constructed the world’s greatest “your mama” joke for all to use and enjoy.

“This mother I’m familiar with is relatively unfamiliar with the jokes being told about her.”

Ouch. Burn indeed.

Of course, there is always “Yo mama’s like a mosquito, you have to slap her to get her to stop sucking.”

And now, an open apology to any offended mosquitoes.


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